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Operation “Replace Stolen Food”

December 21, 2014

I had a hangover, I was eating toast and listening to Brian Redhead on Radio 4, reporting gravely about Operation Desert Storm.

It was January 1991.

Through my grogginess I …

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It wasn’t me

December 20, 2014

I bought two small bottles of cider in the Spar round the corner.

Two indian guys behind the counter were laughing and chatting away in their native language.

The guy …

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The madness of dating

December 19, 2014

Sometimes people-watching is agonising.

In the cafe at the table next to me, a Dickensian-looking bloke in his early 60s stands and moves paper between the pockets of his hill …

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The breakfast of kings

December 15, 2014

The company I just joined targets ‘high net worth individuals’, but on weekdays at 8.30am my mind is on the treasure in its canteen.

Take this morning, for example, in …

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Chip shop finger

December 11, 2014

I bought a haggis and chips the other night from a place on Great Western Road.

The bloke scooped up a load of chips and lay them down alongside the …

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The vest gift

December 8, 2014

Tonight I hit a pothole on a slip road to the M8 and it burst the tyre on the front driver’s side.

After behaving like a lunatic and jumping up …

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Blame it on the rib

December 5, 2014

Muslims are hilarious.

My Muslim taxi driver quoted the Koran when we were discussing how hopeless it is to try to understand women.

This was on a journey between Beith …

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The sofa that got away

December 2, 2014

It’s relatively easy for a man in his late 40s to find a suitable room for rent in a shared house in London.

But not so in Glasgow; I’ve been …

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Factory fan

November 26, 2014

Generally, I like factories and the people who work in them.

I say that because I had a tour of a bottling plant this week.

Years ago, I worked four …

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Arrival in Glasgow

November 23, 2014

“How y’doin’?”

Those were the first words I heard after parking my car outside my new temporary home in the warren of streets on Hillhead in Glasgow.

That really made …

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